Youth Ministry (Without the Youth)

—PJ King

The way we do youth ministry is failing. I am writing this series, Youth Ministry: Preparing for Failure?, because after high school, half of our youth will drop out of the church for good. While there are a lot of positives in current youth ministries, I’m harping on the negatives because something is broken. What are we doing wrong? What can we do better?

Now, take off your easily-offended glasses, put on your discerning ones—and let’s get started.

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Last time, I listed a host of problems with the ways many of our churches do youth ministry. Having identified what I believe to be the root issues, I will now attempt to deal with two of them head-on.

Youth are separated from the rest of the church body

We have talked before about the lack of age-integration in many churches. This problem applies especially to youth ministries. Of all the groups we age-segregate, young adults are the most isolated from everyone else in our churches today. Do you remember when I wrote the complaints most youth have about adults and of the qualms adults (typically older adults) have with the youth? The reason for the complaints is not the age difference; it’s the lack of understanding between the generations!

Young people don’t understand old people because most youth rarely speak with any elderly person. Old people don’t seem to tolerate youth because they neither have the energy that they once had, nor are they accustomed to being around people who do. These groups don’t respect each other because they don’t know each other!

There are hosts of ways that each age group can learn from the others. The older a believing individual is, theoretically, the more wisdom he or she should have to offer to younger believers. The youth can have vitality for Christ that can inspire the older ones. Youth can also be in positions of teaching younger children, assisting in their discipleship.

There is much room for service between all the generations. Youth are in a great position to babysit for the single moms or the couples who need to go on a date. They can clean houses and mow lawns for those in your church who need assistance. Adults can participate in youth oriented activities, not just as chaperones, but side-by-side with the youth. And that is just skimming the surface.

By the time I was in high school, I had no living grandparents. To this day, I struggle with relating to the elderly because I wasn’t blessed with such relationships. The elderly in the church can do a great service to some youth by taking on the role of grandfather and grandmother. Additionally, there are some youth who are involved in the church who don’t have Christian parents at all. Adults (of all ages) can do a huge service to them by “adopting” them—sitting with them at church, taking them to meals, and assisting in their discipleship.

So much is missing when the youth are extracted from the rest of the church body. Both the youth and the church would greatly benefit from less segregation.

The youth are too busy with youth-only events

One of the reasons I think there is a pressure to have so many youth events is because the youth are trying to function as their own church. Many functions are of the church are being duplicated in youth-only forms. Growing up, I had four or five major youth-only events in a given week, taking up over eight hours—and that doesn’t include the semi-frequent events such as post-football game parties, movie nights, and the like.

Thankfully, much of the busyness problem can be remedied through age-integration. The age-segregated Sunday School time really has no need to be age-segregated at all. Youth are fully equipped, intellectually, to learn and benefit from an Adult Christian Education model, as advocated in Stop Acting like your Church is STUPID. Placing students into classes with adults will allow them to develop important relationships, find role models, learn a great deal, and see a glimpse of the Christian life as experienced by adults.

Moreover, there is no need to have weekly outreach events for youth. Having fun outreach events monthly would probably be at least as effective as weekly events. For many youth groups, this would allow for a re-thinking of how Wednesday nights are used. (We’ll talk about discipleship and outreach more in the future).

As for discipleship—yes, there are definitely issues and struggles that are particular to youth. However, it seems odd to me to think that there would be no overlap between discipleship and accountability for adults and youth. Consider this: if your church already has small groups, or discipleship processes for adults, why can’t you integrate the youth? The youth wouldn’t have to be with the adults every week—perhaps every other. On the off weeks, someone could walk the youth through specific struggles they may be facing—even in the same manner that your church already does.

However you address this issue, I think it is unwise to treat youth as if they are completely different from adults when it comes to the Christian life. As Ephesians 4:4-6 says:

There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

We have one Lord and one Salvation. We are all called to obey the same commands. Surely this can be worked out in a more integrated fashion than is currently being modeled in most churches.

Overall, for this issue, ask yourself the question: Is this something that all Christians need, or youth in particular? If it’s not really youth specific, then don’t make it youth specific!

Coming soon: contrasting discipleship from outreach and the effects of experience based youth ministry.

What do you think about the problems addressed and solutions offered? Does your church do particularly well in any of these areas? Leave a note below!